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  • Accalia Rositani

A Home is Made, Not Found

The first days in the house are the weirdest. The floors feel cold and dirty, the lights irritate your eyes, and the smells are all off, especially in the mornings. The first shower frightens you and makes you feel as though you’re dirtier afterwards. The thermostat antagonizes you, seemingly with a vengeance, and you make a quick mess tearing clean clothes out of a few of your cardboard boxes. Your own voice even seems different, as the acoustics are not what you’ve been used to. If you’re with others, the shadows on their faces confuse you in the evenings. Sleeping is a futile attempt… as you think only of where you wish you were. However, the truth is that you are here now, and you must begin rebuilding.

There are numerous reasons for people to move: for work, to accommodate for a growing family, for financial reasons, and so on. Depending on the reason, the perspective of those moving varies, as some look forward to their new location, while others resent their lack of options. Some are able to meticulously plan every step of the process. Others are simply lucky to pack in a hurry and close on their home’s sale days before their deadline. Many are unable to manage their assets before they find themselves without a home. Regardless of the specific situation, it is sure that moving ensues in stress for anyone. Before, during, and after, the experience can undermine a household/family/individual/relationship’s foundation, and require a period of rebuilding. As a person who has undergone many moves, I have often searched for answers as to how to make this process easier. What I have found is that there is no evading the discomfort. Harsh yet true, the initial feelings will be felt, and difficulty is guaranteed. However, it is in the aftermath that we have the power to expedite the healing process. This is the effort to sweep away the agitated dust, and hang your own photos on the walls. This is making your house a home

The primary step in this process is acceptance. No matter the circumstances that ended in the move, you must accept that this new place is where you are. Though frightening and unfamiliar, maybe too far from some and too close to others, this is your current destination. The best choice is to make the most of it. A positive outlook and lack of unsupported, negative expectations will quicken this step.

What comes next is familiarizing yourself with the space. The more aware you are of its features and character, the less you’ll feel unwelcome. Try your best to pick out any aspects that you find endearing, comforting even, as there may be details that remind you of a past home. This step also includes organizing and filling the space with your belongings. Your couch will look more inviting if you place it where you see fit, and you’ll feel less inclined to order take out if your dishes are clean and placed in cabinets.

The final step I have to share is forgiveness and focussing on relationships. Especially if you have moved with your family or a partner, letting go of hostility is integral. This is mostly because, even if another person was the cause of the move, you are probably not as mad at them, so much as you are fearful of the new environment you’re in. Of course, this is natural apprehension. However, if you allow yourself to buckle and lash out, the longer you will take to acclimate. Remember that they are just as full of doubt as you are, and that they need your support as well. Trust me, moving is 100x easier when your family/relationship works as a team.

A blessing and a curse, moving is a natural event in life. We must adapt to survive, and often at the least preferable times. Though, there is pride to be earned and lessons to acknowledge in such an experience, and this will translate through the rest of your life. If you are moving or have moved recently, I dearly hope this post was comforting, and if you are steady at the moment, I still hope this post was insightful. Safe travels.



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